Words for the Soul!
All that may or maynot rhyme!
I was earmarked a cookbook of femininity
by the guardians of society.
Recipe 1 : Stance
Stand like a lady and walk with grace.
Don’t be clumsy and don’t gulp your food.
Recipe 2: Voice
Don’t talk too loudly. Don’t laugh too loudly.
Don’t ask too many questions. Be a listener.
Fear is a thin line
between possibilities & insecurities.
You have to lighten
yourself to cross it.
Uncloth your expectations & become naked.
It’s like a march for salvation.
You have to release the
idea of being left behind &
accept that maybe it won’t
be as bad as you think.
Your love was a paper rose &
I sprayed it with my favorite
cologne & deluded myself;
Maybe if I spray enough,
the rose will come to life.
But it never did.
It never does.
I have inched myself to be fit into
your perfect and in doing so I have
crushed my sparkle;
How could I ever please you?
You were vanilla,
& I was melange.
You were the sky
& I was the horizon.
On some dark nights,
When her heartaches
And her eyes are dry,
I listen to close while
her heart explodes.
She puts on her red
lipstick,
Sprays perfume on
her neck,
Every night she goes
to be preyed;
As we sleep deeper
behind our shades.
You are cut from the reach of my steadfast hands;
Maybe that’s how you and I chose it to be.
Either utmost love or disappearance,
That’s how we chose it to be and you took it literally.
I showed you my every teardown,
My every blood drop shed through my words and verse;
But you kept quiet, distance apart and now its been years since I heard your voice, saw your face or knew anything about you absolutely.
And today I wish I could know, how deep did it cut when I was torn apart from you or was it just a little prick?
Did it damage like the tornadoes do or not as it just a storm that blew too soon?
See I don’t wish to draw pleasure in your turbulence if any occurred;
I just want to know where I stood the day you took the last vow;
Vow to undo all the vows!
That particular day when I was lying beneath the waves of a life-shaking tsunami and catching my breath;
Were you basking on the beach or were you a little wet in the rain of misery?
Because I was drenched.
I was drenched in the abyss of breathlessness like you were a vital organ that failed;
I wish you hadn’t failed, first love.
I wish we hadn’t failed, first love.
Because you were the one thing I swear, one thing I let engulf me and believe me I could have happily spent my whole life in your stomach. It was my happy place. You were my happy face.
You were one thing I could have compromised everything for and believe me, that coming from me is not an easy deal because now I compromise nothing for nothing.
You were my extra hand I would have extended to make up for your shorthanded love because now I don’t walk an inch further for anything that’s meant or meant not to be.
You were the ray of optimism in my darkest of nightmares where you never returned and now I am a lone pessimist.
You were strong I knew;
I was stronger I discovered but at this moment I am weak.
My day vision is opaque to your refraction but the damn night is when you seep in; In my dreams.
And today after years I am weak and I wish for our paths to cross again some fine day;
I’ll pretend to be who I was and who I am not and you can just sit and tell me,
Tell me, did it hurt just a little?
Or you lost heartbeats in a row like a severe concussion and could feel the heartache in your mouth?
Because that’s how it happened to me!
Tell me, my former worth.
Was I just the deprived sleep of a day or two or was I someone you incessantly craved?
Tell me about your withdrawal symptoms in my absence, if any!
I wish to know the consequences of the strongest emotions I felt;
And though we’ll never resonate in that magical frequency ever again because I love myself a little too much and yet a little too less than how much I loved thee.
Ah, love that enormous returned to anonymity.
A love that enormous that if it escapes to the universe and condenses to be a bright spot, the world will have a new north star.
Love that enormous but All for nothing.
And I wish you hadn’t failed, first love.
I wish we hadn’t failed, first love.
-Disha Tripathi
Illustration by amazing Muhammed Salah
Image credits: @flowsofly
Melancholy was my muse,
sadness my symphony;
Former, a price for greater gifts
Later a consequence of my depths.
A bitter sweet symphony.
Melancholy being bitter and my filled pages be the sweet.
Yes, its nothing less than writing on sheets blank, ink being your blood.
I am a fire in the salt lake,
just so that you know.
Don’t scratch upon the rugged
stone I bear in my chest,
There ain’t no shiny pearls
hidden in my shell.
Dear lover,
If you have to leave me, do us the justice of being honest and I promise I will take your bullets in my chest like it were pills to heal me sooner and slowly.